Sometimes we develop negative habits over time that start hampering our success and we don’t even realize it.
1. Letting Fear Win
This is a big one for me and I know it well. Fear freaks me out and makes me start talking about all the ways I’ll fail or I’ll start thinking about everything single thing that could go wrong. Total paralysis by analysis and it only serves to hold us back. Fear is a natural human emotion and the difference between someone who takes control of their lives and someone who doesn’t, is someone who has done the inner work. We need self-awareness, perseverance and resiliency to overcome our fear of failure and to see our strengths.
2. Thinking Negatively
Thinking negatively can not only be hampering to your success, but debilitating. It’s been said, “If you think you can, or if you think you can’t – you’re right.” Controlling our inner thought patterns are the keys to success here and once we understand that self-doubt and fear are natural, we can overcome them to meet our goals.
3. Being Afraid of Failure
Making mistakes is all a part of the process. In fact, if we’re not making mistakes, we’re probably not trying hard enough. Making mistakes means we’re out there doing something. Don’t be afraid of not being perfect – we should use it as a learning opportunity to better ourselves for the next time.
4. Being a People Pleaser
Being a people pleaser comes from a place of insecurity and the feeling we are not good enough. No one wants to feel rejected and pleasing authority figures makes us feel OK and loved. I am very guilty of this one as I have always felt extremely grateful to my Manager for giving me a shot even though I didn’t have the qualifications for my job. This led me into a spiral of abuse and contempt that I recognize today could have been avoided by speaking up for myself.
5. Being Soft With My Boundaries
Saying “No” may seem unkind and harsh until you realize it’s not. Saying “No” to someone means saying “Yes” to yourself and keeping your goals and interests at the forefront. It’s about taking your dreams and values seriously and putting yourself first.
6. Not Speaking My Mind
Holding back what I really feel has only created more resentment and negative emotions inside of me. Letting our true feelings out will not only help avoid the resentment, but help drive our relationships forward with truth and understanding.
7. Being “Busy”
Too busy for family, too busy for friends. I was on the hamster “Wheel of Importance” where I couldn’t fulfill my social obligations because I was living my life in overdrive. It’s just a story we like to tell ourselves that if we’re busy – we must be important. Gaining self-worth in this troubling way will, if anything, do the total opposite. We’ll feel even more disconnected from our purpose.
8. Looking for Happiness From Outside Sources
If your joy, peace and happiness depend on external sources, your stress levels will be out the roof. Being confident in yourself and your choices is the first step in being happy from the inside. Despite the short-term ups and down of life, you’ll be able to make more positive decisions for the long-term.
These are just a few things I need to stop doing to lead a more successful life. What would you add to this list? Comment below!