The Best Advice I’ve Ever Gotten

Just like everyone else, I’ve been given tons of advice from family, friends and partners of mine. They’re always well meaning but some advice has been a lot more helpful than others. I decided to make a list of the top four pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten and I hope it can help you too.

“Just Do the Best You Can”

I consider myself a hard worker with an all or nothing mindset. I either fail or succeed. This black and white thinking is characteristic of borderlines and I’ve had to actively learn to combat it. Since being given this advice, I don’t feel compelled to be perfect – just to do the best I can, and this has been so freeing.

“Welcome, and Then Learn From Your Mistakes”

I used to be afraid of making mistakes because I didn’t want to look stupid in front of anyone. Over time, I’ve learned that It’s OK to make those mistakes as long as I learn from them and that people aren’t really paying any attention to me anyways. They’re too busy focused on themselves, so who cares? I wanted to protect my ego and I was too afraid to make mistakes and  as a result, I ended up on the sidelines a lot. I’ve missed a few big opportunities in my life because of this fear and I’ve decided that it’s better to take the risk than live in regret.

“Set Your Own Standards”

This bit of advice firstly reminds me to have standards, then work up or (mostly) down to them. My standards are unbelievably high for most things in my life and I end up failing because they’re simply unrealistic. This ties once again into my borderline where my black and white thinking doesn’t allow for much wiggle room. I need to learn to be more realistic and set high standards for only those things that are most important to me.

“Do What Makes You Feel Good About Yourself”

They say when your life is in sync with your values, you live in peace. Whether its reading a good book in the middle of the day or going to workout, I get to choose what makes me feel good. Although I initially thought this was pretty selfish, I’ve realized it’s not. When I’m feeling better, I can guarantee that those around me feel better. With Borderline Personality Disorder, people tend to walk on eggshells around me and that is the last thing I want. I’ve learned to take care of myself better, to better take care of those around me.

These are just a few of the pieces of advice I’ve gotten over the years that have helped me find a bit more peace in my life. What advice have you received that’s been helpful to you? Let me know in the comments!

6 thoughts

  1. This is such great advice, especially the advice about doing the best you can and doing what makes you feel good about yourself. I know that sometimes I feel like I’m obligated to do something (like go somewhere because it’s a family member’s birthday, etc.). However, for example, there was one time where I didn’t feel like going somewhere because sometimes when I go I feel like no one cares that I’m there and because of my anxiety, I’m ignored. I chose for once not to go because of this and I was proud that I made that decision.

    I think some more advice is to not always worry what others think or say about you. This can be a hard thing to do, but it’s important. Because I deal with anxiety, I sometimes hear people making mean comments or treating me less than kindly. I have to remember that if I’m trying my hardest, that’s all that matters. I need to be proud of myself and remind myself that my opinion of myself is important.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love this post! Personally the best advice I’ve been given is ‘It’s okay not to be okay’. Sometimes it feels like there’s so much pressure to be okay that we feel guilty when we aren’t, so we lie and put on a mask for those around us.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s