How to Be Miserable

Here are just a few ways to stay in your misery – let me know if you have more!

Feel Entitled

Feeling entitled and maintaining the attitude that everyone “owes” you will help you stay in your misery. Everyone should drop what they’re doing on a dime to help you when you need it – otherwise, what kind of friend are they? Forget responsibility, compromise and patience, that’s for others to have – not you.

Focus on Problems

Make sure to keep track of all your problems and constantly review them. By constantly reviewing them, you get to live in the past and make sure you don’t move on. Better yet, don’t move on until you solve every single problem that you have. That will keep you plenty busy when you aren’t busy feeling entitled and living in your misery.


Forget maintaining perspective and remembering you’re just human; instead, magnify your problems and hold onto that paralyzing guilt. Remember all of your mistakes and instead of having constructive regrets, just know that you can’t do anything right. Don’t cheat yourself out of misery by maintaining perspective – MAGNIFY!

Take Things Personally

You can always find malicious intent and ill will if you look closely enough; so make sure you do! When your boyfriend forgets to call you, you have to understand that you never mattered to him and you never will. If you don’t find the hurtful intent, who will? Make sure you take everything personally.

Don’t Be Grateful

Why be grateful? That will just further cheat you out of your misery. You should just discount all the good in your life as a given and remember that life will always just screw you over in the end, so why be grateful? Spend enough time away from gratitude and you’ll even start seeing the bad in the good! One last thing – to really be miserable, know that it loves company, so the more you share your misery and negativity with others, the more you’ll have!

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