8 Things to Remember When You Feel Defeated

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Sometimes, life just feels like too much. It pushes me to my limits and when I feel I can’t take anymore, I tend to fall into a black hole of hopelessness where I feel broken and defeated. It’s hard to remember in the moment, but I’ve learned (over a very long time) to simply step back and let the emotions bubble up to the surface, even when they seem too painful to bear. These episodes of pain only make us stronger and more capable of dealing with life so I try to reframe my thinking and try to see the positive that comes with the miserable:

Cracks Allow the Light to Come In

If I didn’t feel broken on occasion, there would be no place for the light to enter. Sometimes, to see all the good in the world, it takes heart-hurting, horrible experiences to really appreciate it all. If everything was always positive and wonderful, as nice as that sounds on paper, we would never grow as people. We would never really be able to appreciate all the good in our lives and learn to become resilient. I feel things open up inside of us when we feel broken and I use that to rebuild a stronger, more powerful me.

Remember Your Why

During hard times, it can be difficult to even remember what we want in life because we’re stuck in a rut of bad feelings. However, these bad feelings actually give more depth to our purpose and it’s easier to relate to others who go through hardships everyday. If I didn’t go through unpleasant experiences, I would not have a well-rounded perspective of my “why” nor be relatable to other people.

Don’t Fight Your Feelings

I feel bad, a lot of the time, for feeling bad; but I shouldn’t. If I didn’t have bad or negative emotions, I wouldn’t be human. We all go through really tough experiences that warrant strong reactions and all we can do is just feel them; then try to work though them. Controlling and repressing my feelings only seemed to delay but not prevent the inevitable emotional breakdown. Instead, I’ve learned not to hide from my feelings for fear of other people’s reactions – but to embrace them.

Feelings Are Only Temporary

We’re only on this planet for a short time yet it’s so easy to forget we don’t have forever. I try to enjoy it all while it lasts because I know all of my experiences, even the bad ones, will shape who I turn out to be just as much as the positive experiences. In the moment, I remind myself that this too, shall pass. Emotions are only temporary.

You Have a Support System

It’s hard for me to reach out to others for help when I feel down about life. I already feel worthless and I have a hard time grasping the idea that the people that truly care about me would gladly be there to help me. I feel as if I’m a burden and try not to bother others but this isn’t right. Your loved ones do care and they want to help, even if they don’t know how to. Help them, help you.

You Are Not Your Feelings

I am so much more than my temporary emotions so I try not to let them control me. Emotions come and go as they please – they’re never invited, so why should we treat them as guests? We are so much more than our emotions and all we can do is accept them but that doesn’t mean they control us. Simply feel your emotions and work on moving past them, knowing all-the-while they’re only temporary.

Focus on What Brings You Joy

When I feel defeated, I focus my attention entirely on my sadness and despair, that I forget about the things that make me happy. I read books, get some sunshine or go for a run to make myself feel better. I’ve learned that just because I feel sad and broken, doesn’t mean I have to spend every waking minute wallowing in it.

There’s More to Life

I know I’m selfish – it’s always about me, me, me but that doesn’t mean the whole world shares my view. If I have a bad day, I have to remember that doesn’t mean everyone else did too. I still get to work out, breathe in fresh air and see all the beautiful fall colours outside my window. I need to remember that there are good things happening all around me despite my temporary slump and everything doesn’t seem as bad.

This is what I try to refer back to when I feel down and defeated and it’s helped me a lot. What do you remind yourself of to keep perspective? Let me know in the comments!

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